the ultimate sacrifice
by bibi 13ca
Summary: So, the name of the last episode got stuck in my mind and gave me this... A one shot of Elena's reaction to the new plan to rescue her from Klaus.


**N: **_Ok, so this came to me in my sleep, weird, I know…hope you enjoy it though! _

_A special thank you to Valerie for her work on this, thanks honey, means a lot to me!_

I woke up at 5:30 am, but I kept staring at the clock for another few minutes. I couldn't bring myself to move just yet. We found Klaus's location and decided, well, _they_ decided, to go after him tonight. 'He won't expect it,' they said. Bonnie was supposed to weaken him long enough for John to use the new dagger against him. That wouldn't happen of course, not if I had a say in it.

This plan was far from flawless, but it was all we…_they_ got. I wasn't part of it. 'Too dangerous!' they said. So I didn't have much of a choice. They actually said my part was to stay as far away as possible, to be safe. Yes, they actually said that!

Damon and Stefan had me sign the papers for the Boarding House. I was now the proud owner of a huge and crumbling pile of bricks. No vampire besides them could get in without my permission. As a plan B, Damon told me to pull out the dagger from Elijah's body. 'He'll protect you,' he said. I didn't doubt that, just like I didn't doubt that he'd kill Damon before thinking twice about it. After all, Damon did try to kill him more than once… And I couldn't have that happening, so I would NOT, under any circumstances, pull that thing out.

The decision I took just a few hours ago was not in my favor…but it was what I wanted, so that's all that mattered.

I bent over and placed a soft kiss on Stefan's cheek, careful not to wake him. My sweet, sweet Stefan…the one that helped me get over my parents' death. I loved him for it…I'll always love him. I wish I could say 'goodbye' and kiss him one last time, hear his sweet, calm voice. I wish I could have one last talk with Jenna, tell her she did a great job, taking care of two teens. I wish I could have one last 'girl's night' with Bonnie and Caroline, my best friends since we were four years old. I also wish I could look in the eyes of a certain blue-eyed vampire before…I'll never see them again. I felt a sharp pain in my chest just thinking about him… But I couldn't have all those 'last times'.

I could almost picture the hurt and disappointment on Damon's face…the anger and betrayal in his eyes. I didn't want to hurt him…hurt them all. It was just something I needed to do. I couldn't just stay and watch them die for me…no, no…they were my…my life, my everything. With that in mind, I slipped out of Stefan's bed, took my jacket and got out. I stopped for a second in front of the door, and my mind took me on a trip down memory lane to the first time I found myself opening that door. My eyes flew to the other side of the hall and stopped on the door to Damon's bedroom. Like in a movie, our moments together started playing in my head. Me bumping into him for the first time…his smile, the feeling of his lips on the back of my hand…our trip to Georgia, the feelings I had when he was around …the broken expression on his face when he found out Katherine wasn't in the tomb and my irresistible need to confront him…everything, every moment came rushing back and I needed all my strength to resist the temptation of going into his room.

I turned around and made my way down the stairs. As I got to the bottom of the stairs, I saw Damon in the kitchen. His hand was on the handle of the kitchen door, he was ready to go out…I took a deep breath and I think that's what gave away my presence. In the blink of an eye he was standing in front of me.

"Just where do you think you're going?" he asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I could ask you the same thing," I said, undisturbed by his reaction.

"I asked it first…"

"Fair enough…I needed some air. I can't sleep…" I answered calmly. If I pulled this off, I should receive an Oscar. He knows me so well… it's almost as if he can read my mind sometimes. 'Please, please believe me!' I prayed.

"Well then, open a window!"

"It's not…I need to move, to clear my head. I'll take a short walk, it won't take long, I promise," I said. I was lying; of course I was…I needed him to let me go. I had to protect them, I had to protect _him_. He looked at me; I could read the concern in his eyes and I thought: 'I'm busted, he knows I'm lying'. My heart skipped a beat as I was waiting for him so say something…to stop me, to save me, like he always did… but I didn't want to be saved, not this time…

"Fine, but I'll come with you" he said.

I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding. 'He doesn't know, I can still go on with my plan…if I play this right…' I thought.

"Ok, you can come with me. Oh, but, please keep your distance; I need to be alone with my thoughts!" I said and he nodded.

I took a few steps towards the door, but he reached it before me. I bit my bottom lip nervously. He didn't notice because he was opening the door and holding it for me.

"I'm sorry…" I mumbled as I stepped outside.

He tried to follow me…he couldn't…but then again, I already knew that was going to happen, since it was part of the deal.

"I can't get through…what the hell…Elena, what did you do?" he demanded.

I turned around to look at him and I saw what I was expecting to see. Disbelief, betrayal, confusion, hurt…

"I'm sorry, Damon…I had to, you wouldn't have let me go otherwise…"

"You tricked me!"

"That wasn't my intention. I didn't know you would be awake."

"I swear I'll kill that witch…"

"It wasn't Bonnie, if it's her you're referring to. I made a deal and this is all part of it. You and Stefan won't be able to get out of this house for a while…and your cell phone doesn't work…"

When I mentioned his cell phone, he reached for it. He tried to turn it on, but it didn't work. I reached into my pocket and took out the three batteries. I open my hand and let him see them.

"I guess you're looking for this…" I said.

"No! You didn't?"

"I have to go…" I said, but he held me steady with his gaze.

"Elena…you can't do this…please come back inside, and let's talk about it!" he begged and for all of a second, I was tempted to do as I was told. I was tempted to go back inside and wrap my arms around him, holding him tight. To whisper in his ear that everything was going to be alright. I wanted to look into those hypnotic eyes of his and see the love in them one last time…but I couldn't. I knew that, if I crossed that threshold, he'd never let me go again… I didn't even know if I would be able to go on with it if he asked me not to…

"You're one to talk, Damon. What were you doing, sneaking through the kitchen door? You were about to do the same thing I was…to go after Klaus all by yourself, weren't you? You think that's fair? I would've woken up and you would've been dead…" I said weakly, I was about to burst into tears and trying to hold them back was hurting my throat.

"At least everyone you love, including yourself, would've been safe…"

"So, I'm right? You're not denying it?"

"No, I'm not…" I didn't say anything, so he continued, "…using all of her power to hold Klaus would've killed the witch. I couldn't let that happen, you need your best friend…" I closed my eyes for a split second to hold back those stubborn tears…all they wanted was to pour out. I wanted to scream and yell and hit someone at that moment. "…you just…Isobel's dead, and you wanted to give John a chance; you wouldn't have been able to do that with him dead. I wanted to make sure he'd be there for you. You can't do this, Elena; too many people will suffer if you do. Me, on the other hand…no one will care if I'm not there anymore. Blondie and the witch will probably throw a big party to celebrate…" he said sarcastically.

"What about Stefan…he cares about you, he's your brother?"I asked.

"He…he has you…he'll get over it."

"What about me…knowing you died to save me… how will I get over it?"

He didn't say a thing; he just stared at me like I was crazy. Didn't he understand that I'd miss him, that I'd care if he wouldn't be there anymore?

"Damon…" I took a deep breath before continuing, "…I know." He watched me, confused. "I know what you said to me, that night you brought me back my necklace…you didn't compel me…" I said in a whisper, but he heard me, of course he did, the expression on his face told me that.

"Elena, I…"

"I'm not mad, Damon. I understand why you did it…but you were wrong. That wasn't the most selfish thing you did…it was actually the most _unselfish_ thing I ever witnessed someone doing." He opened his mouth to say something, but I stopped him again.

"I'm not done yet…please…now it's my turn. You have to listen to me, just like I listened to you. Now I'm the one that has to say this…just once, and you need to hear it. I told you this before and I'll tell you again: you and me, Damon…we have something…an understanding…a connection. What I feel for you…it's not friendship, it's not love, it's not hate, it's not forgiveness, and it's not sympathy…it's all of the above. I want you to know that…it was always like this, from the very first day I met you."

I wiped away the burning tears from my cheek and turned around. Not looking back, small, determined steps led me towards my car. I was not looking back, I didn't want to see the broken expression on his face, and I couldn't watch him fall apart… for I would fall apart with him. He was yelling after me…I didn't want to hear him, but still I did…

I closed my eyes as death came over me…it felt good, I thought about my mom and dad…they were waiting for me…I smiled.

As I lay dying, Damon's final words were echoing in my head: "How am I supposed to live if you don't…how am I supposed to live in a world that doesn't have you in it?" the question was all too familiar…I was wondering just the same thing a few hours ago.

As I lay dying, I pictured his beautiful face; smiling at me…I smiled back. The connection we had… the connection we _have_, because I could still feel it; that connection was beyond love, it was more than that…I didn't think they have a word for it yet. And maybe now, they never will…

With the little force I had left, I clenched my fists…I just hoped he knew how much he meant to me…

As I lay dying, that was my only wish…

**N: **_I'm sorry there's no happy Delena, it's just the way I saw it in my sleep…please, feel free to blame me or slap me (metaphorically speaking) by leaving a review! _


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